Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

It was actually starting to look a lot like Christmas around our house a few weeks ago, but I was gone to DC this last week for work. Feels good to be back home. While I finished up our stack of Christmas cards to send out, I wanted to take some photos of our Christmas decorations to share. I have always wanted to theme trees, and this year we did! 

Some of the lights outside

Snowmen Mike made

Living Room

Nick's Santa Tree

Boats

 Farming Tree

Lego tree

Snowmen Tree

 4-wheeler Tree

While I was gone, Mike added these green lights to our front yard. A smile and sad moment when I first saw it.

 

I invite all of you to follow this other blog, where Mike and our family will be sharing various stories about Nick. Sharing stories will help Nick continue to ride on with us all. Click Here to check out our Nick page.

In case I don't get around to saying it again in the next few weeks, Merry Christmas!

Heartache, Joy, and Life

This last year of my life has been one of the most intense yet. Some days I tell people I feel as if I aged 10 years in terms of life experience. My heart has been through trying times - it has ached, parts of it have felt broken, and it has been tested; yet, it has also grown, parts of it have felt full, and it has felt joy.

I went from being your everyday single free-spirited outdoor educator working at a state park to being with my aunt and uncle through a life-threatening illness and ultimate liver transplant. While living at the hospital for a few months with the two of them, I was reconnected with an old friend. Little did I know at the time that reconnecting with that friend would lead to the growth of my heart and family.

As I discussed in one of my last posts, I really was feeling like I was in the right place, people were coming back into my life, and we were crossing paths at just the right time. I was there while my boyfriend’s son continued to enjoy life and make us all laugh despite his great battle with osteosarcoma. He never gave up, not even in those final days. I lost a friend that day.

I know there is a part of our hearts that will never feel the same without Nick here. He was a great person, son, brother, and friend, and I was just beginning to feel like a part of his family.

I am thankful for the time I had, and beyond blessed to walk into his life when I did. One of the first times I hung out with him and his dad in Omaha, I felt so inspired by Nick already. I wrote a post titled “Stay Strong” that evening. Nick later shared a few words himself that day, which brought me to tears and touched my heart.

“Jessica is one of the most inspirational, very outgoing, strongest, and never forgets someone or leaves them out. She definitely made my stay go a lot faster and brightened it up by just coming over and hanging out. My journey in life is just a small dent in life and the people I have met like Jessica have made a tremendous dent in the most important journey, and that’s LIFE.”

As a family we remember, we cry, we share stories, we laugh, we enjoy, and we love.

Simple guide for enjoying life, laughing lots, and staying strong:

1. Spend time with those you love. The ones who make you happy. The ones who make you smile without even saying a thing. The ones you can have fun with and keep on smiling.

These are the people we should be there for, spend our time with, make memories together, enjoy life, and bring each other joy. Family and those few great friends. Smile together.

The boys and I participated in a 1-mile honor walk in support of Childhood Cancer Research. I also ran the 5K that night. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Go gold.

 2. Find excitement and joy in your work.

I am embarking on a few new work adventures this week. First, I am beginning as the administrative assistant in an office that works with community development through homebuyer education and assistance. Second, I may be doing a little freelance writing and photography for a magazine. Both are exciting opportunities right near my new home. I can see challenge in both of these work adventures for me, and I can help make a difference.

3. Share stories with one another.

Sharing stories means sharing experiences and emotions. How do we go about remembering and not forgetting? We share stories. That’s how. Stories can help us process, remember the good things in life, reminisce, and hope for more.

I have been telling a few people about the hearts I have been finding lately. One showed up in the form of a rash or something on my left arm. I had it for about three days. Every time I looked, I would trace the heart shape I would see and think of my buddy. Maybe Nick was telling us he loves us. Look close in the photo below. The heart is tilted on its right.

 

Then, at the start line of the 5K race in support of Childhood Cancer Research, I took in a group of clouds forming a heart with a pink tinge in the sky. Nick again I thought, and Mike, Nate, and I shared stories on the way home. 

4. Make each other laugh.

I swear I have not laughed as hard in my life as I have in the past 3 months. From Oklahoma shenangians with the guys, to riding in the truck, to sitting across the table. Those Kroeger men always find something. I don’t just giggle, I bend over laughing with tears in the corners of my eyes. I have Mike, Nate, and Nick to thank for that.

5. Enjoy the little things.

With one of new work avenues including a little photography work, I decided to wake up a little earlier one day and go see what beautiful sky the sun may provide for me one morning. Sunrise has always been one of my favorite times of day, when just that simple change as it sneaks over the horizon. This is one of those little moments that just makes me smile.

Heartache, joy, and life… How do we make sense of it all? I don’t think we ever will. A part of our hearts will ache forever; yet, other parts of our hearts shall grow as we continue to be here for one another. Like Nick said “it’s the people I have met that have made a tremendous dent in the most important journey, and that’s LIFE.” We shall do our best to help each other find our way. We will cry. We will remember. We will hold each other. We will smile. We will laugh. We will enjoy. We will love. We will ride on.

Paths and Bravery

Boys and their toys. Quad racers, a RZR, and a dirt bike out on the sand dunes of Little Sahara State Park near Waynoka, Oklahoma. Following paths, creating paths, and crossing paths.

 

Paths. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about paths in life. I may not be a believer in ultimate fate where our lives are simply a series of planned out events. However, I have come to believe that while our paths develop as we go, the right people seem to cross our paths. Not to mention the timing of these crossings.

I recently was asked to join the Kroeger family and friends on a trip to Waynoka, Oklahoma for days of riding out on the sand dunes. The boys asked me to come along to help document the trip, as they were aware of my photography hobby. They have been going for years but haven’t really taken many pictures.

Boy oh boy did we snag some good photographs, and I had an absolute blast taking the photos and getting to ride with the guys. It was some of the most fun I had experienced in quite a while and an inspiring trip.

As my path took me to working a temporary position at Ponca State Park, this made it possible for me to step in and help my aunt and uncle like I have for the past three months. Being at the hospital in Omaha when I was led me to spending time with the Kroeger men, great friendships, and the Oklahoma trip. What great timing on many fronts in my life lately.

Quad racers, a RZR, and a dirt bike out on the sand dunes of Little Sahara State Park near Waynoka, Oklahoma.  Popping wheelies, taking jumps, and showing bravery.

Bravery. It was crazy watching the guys catch some of the air that they were on those sand dunes. Crazier yet was timing some of my shots documenting that awesomeness. Takes some guts to just let go and ride the air like that. What a rush, too. I was in the RZR with Nick on a handful of jumps, and often I kept thinking we should have touched ground a second or two before we actually did. :-)

Speaking of bravery, I am sure some of you who follow my blog are aware of Nick and his family’s story. Nick is 16 years old and was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in December of 2014. He had part of his leg amputated in March of 2015 and has gone through several rounds of chemotherapy. Three months post-amputation, some scans showed that the cancer had metastasized in his lungs and lymph nodes despite the chemotherapy. The doctors in Omaha didn’t give much hope in his prognosis but directed him to some doctors at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.

Nick was recently accepted into a clinical trial up there, and he has received one round of the treatment so far. Nick agreed to let the doctors take biopsies from him throughout the study, which is not a painfree process, but he knew it could help people in the future fighting similar battles to his own. I know how proud Nick’s dad was of him when Nick made this selfless decision.

As you may have read in my last post, through all of this Nick has continued to enjoy life and stay strong. He has been such an inspiration, and I know that my life crossed paths with his family for many reasons. I have no doubt about that.

Not only has Nick been brave through all of it, but also I have to mention two other brave guys - his brother Nate and their dad Mike - and the rest of their family. The process takes its toll on everyone involved. Through my recent life experience, I was told time and time again to remember to take care of myself, too. Often times, a caregiver forgets to care for his- or herself along the way. Nonetheless, thank goodness we are able to support each other.

Sometimes it stinks to think that it takes hard times like this for us to go out of our way to be kind to one another. I challenge people to do more kind things for others. My year in American Samoa taught me that if we help each other regularly, not much then feels like a burden. We all have to remember to be brave and remember that somebody else out there probably is having a worse day than we are even if it seems pretty bad at the time.

Take the story of Nick and the Kroeger family as inspiration. Nick continues to fight, and I am so blessed to be connected with the Kroegers. His family is a joy to be around, too. I’ve been spending a lot of time with them lately, and I love every minute of it. From riding on the sand dunes of Oklahoma, to backyard lawn games in Norfolk, to pulling weeds for hours, to looking through pictures together. Nick and Nate like to tell people that they took their personal photographer with them to Oklahoma and will have her along on all future riding trips. ;-)

 

Personal photographer getting a ride

Quad racers, a RZR, and a dirt bike out on the sand dunes of Little Sahara State Park near Waynoka, Oklahoma. Paths and bravery. Enjoying life. Never ever ever give up.

Stay Strong

For nearly a year I have been wearing one bracelet on my left wrist every day. Within the last few weeks while living here at the hospital, I have received a few more that have become part of my daily wear. They all remind me of strength and bring me joy. Let me tell you a few stories about my bracelets.

First, I wear a magnetic bracelet given to me by my mom. I think about togetherness. While I may be an introvert at heart, being together with great friends and family generally adds extra sunshine to my day. This reminds me of a quote I've been sharing recently.

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine." 

I took this top photo here in the ICU. It is a beautiful mural that brings sunshine inside these walls. Despite the roller coaster ride of the last few weeks, every day has still been a good day. We deal with the bumps, stay strong, and end the day thinking about the moments of sunshine. Those moments are even better when shared with somebody.

Second, I now wear a blessing bracelet given to me by a family friend about a week ago. It came in the mail along with a gift for my aunt. It came with some of the kindest words reassuring this place that my life has brought me to, as I continue to understand more each day since the moment when my life changed course.

I am glad I have been able to be here for my aunt and uncle even though we have been thrown plenty of curveballs. Just more reminders to stay together and strong.

Finally, just yesterday my 16-year old friend Nick and his family gave me this blue "Stay Strong" bracelet. Nick was staying here at the hospital for another round of chemotherapy. I was able to spend some time with him and his dad Mike while they were here. He continues to enjoy life despite the battles he has been fighting. He told me all about his Star Wars Lego collection, we played a few games, and just hung out. 

It's been a little while since I've seen his dad last, hadn't seen Nick in 3 years, and was able to meet his mom this time. Despite the unfortunate circumstances it was nice spending some time together. I am thankful for those smiling moments.

If any of you remember a post back in April, I ran in a 5K race. I ran that race in support of Nick and my aunt. Nick is an inspiration, and spending time with him really got me thinking about this blog post. We shared quite a few smiles together over the past few days, and I shared with him one of my favorite quotes.

"Smile, and the world smiles with you."

Please keep Nick, the Kroeger family, and my aunt in your thoughts and prayers. All of us will continue to stay strong and keep smiling. You do the same!

Why I Donate Blood and Why You Should Too

At 1:15pm on Monday, May 11th, 2015 I was sitting in an American Red Cross Blood Donation Center in Omaha, NE squeezing that little stress ball pumping some of my O positive blood into a bag. This was 9 weeks after my last donation that took place at the Life Serve Blood Center in Sioux City, IA. My trip in 9 weeks ago put me over 2 gallons donated in my lifetime.

Being a blood donor is one of the easiest ways to give back. If you know me well enough, you are aware that I was an avid volunteer and volunteer coordinator while at Morningside College. One of my life missions is to make as many smiles possible as I can and help make life worthwhile. The whole process of giving blood takes less than an hour. Do you know what giving up one hour of your time every two months can mean to people?

It can mean that someone who needed a blood transfusion is able to make it to one more Husker Volleyball game that they so much enjoy. I had my first experience at  Husker Volleyball game a few weeks back. I tagged along for my cousin Rebecca's birthday. It was a fun time.

It can mean adding one more week out of the hospital giving you time to go for another first boat ride of the year on the lake with family and friends.

Giving blood can mean helping someone who is in the hospital needing some strength. A patient in the hospital is always related or connected to someone somewhere. I just happen to be spending a lot of time in the hospital with a relative of mine who has received several units of blood while sitting in the hospital. I look back at all the times I have given up that time to donate that have helped give other families strength. My Aunt Kristin is a fighter, but she's needed some of that help along the way. Unfortunately, it isn't easy enough to just sit here and pump out some of my blood directly to her.

The Blood Bank is a busy place, and I don't even want to guess how many people are touched by its aid each year. I do know that there is constantly a shortage of donors. 

If you've never done it, give it a try! If you've had a bad experience, give it another chance. I had one day as a college student where nearly an entire side of my arm bruised up from not being poked well, but I've come back. Oopsies happen, but in the end one normal donation sit is painless and does wonders for someone else.

It was actually cool to see a blood donation from the other side. I thought to myself that is what all my donations look like once they make it the hospital.

Donating blood can mean giving someone years to laugh more. I had one big laugh one morning that I had to share with a few friends. I woke up one morning in my hotel room of the hospital to this lovely completely assymetric mess of a hairdo. It made me giggle.

Giving blood can mean more time for a couple to walk down the street and enjoy a beautiful day and their surroundings.

Giving blood can mean giving someone the chance to go dance in the rain again. We sure have had some Seattle (or from my memory - American Samoa) like days with all the precipitation lately. I was walking back from church with my uncle Sunday when we got caught in the rain. That made me think of some Samoa memories and smile. 

I could name many more reasons why I donate blood and why you should, too. Think about it. Better yet, go do it! 

Have a lovely week, all!